so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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