All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
