i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize