On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
