dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
