3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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