We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
