that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
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