Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
