I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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