I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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