I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
false alarm. still invincible.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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