Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
youre lurking in front of me
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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