my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
