You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
