A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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