So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
