my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
