I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
