did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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