i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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