I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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