dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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