whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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