Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
