i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I am available for nakedness
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