this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
