I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
