Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
