Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
