Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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