next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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