Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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