can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
