i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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