So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
