is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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