Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
