She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
