i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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