this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
