Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
