do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
