Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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