Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
