come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
