Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize