Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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