Whod you bang
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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