so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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