Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
