do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize