I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
