I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I got her a Nickelback box set.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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