weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
